My new favorite...

In an attempt to keep my life in order and prevent things from getting messy and out of control, I cheat by following a set of relatively strict rules. I say ''relatively'' because let's be honest, I have been known to break rules from time to time. I am a sucker for excitement and danger, what can I do? I mostly abide by my rules which I have drafted in an effort to keep me safe but more importantly, sane. Those rules revolve around being selective about how much of myself I share with men. I try not to build intimacy in order to prevent the development of feelings. I like to believe that although I may share my body with men, my heart belongs to my husband. I tend to limit the personal information that I share and I never ever allow men to text me or call me. I have broken most of these rules with A.

A. is my new favorite. Things have progressed quickly and I can not believe that I was considering never meeting him in person just a few weeks ago. In fact, my first conversation with A. began out of boredom and a desire to be entertained. We shared witty and sexy emails back and forth during a lazy friday afternoon where neither of us was actually doing any work in the office. We discovered that we had a lot in common despite a significant age difference. A. is warm and completely open. He shares stories and feelings without being careful or holding back. He is funny and constantly makes me laugh. He is passionate, giving and caring.

A. is a passionate kisser. When his lips touch mine, I can feel his desire. He skillfully uses his tongue and nibbles on my bottom lip while kissing me. He draws me in. He holds me close and he teases me like no other lover has done before. He will put his hands on me so slowly and graze my skin with his fingers. He inches his way from my leg to my thigh and softly touches me closer and closer to where I need to feel him. When his fingers reach my wetness, he is still moving painfully and deliciously slow. Everything about the way he fucks me is exactly right. It is like he was meant for me. Or maybe he can read my mind. His sensuality turns me on and the way he combines passion, sweetness and roughness is something I will be touching myself to for years to come.

The week we first met, we spent two evenings together. We talk everyday. Often texting throughout the day. I can't get enough of him. My heart pounds in my chest when he writes about how badly he wants me. I can feel myself unraveling. This is the first time that I feel that a man is slowly breaking through the protective walls that I have created around myself. Walls made of rules, self-control and compartmentalization. What will become of me through my affair with A. I have yet to figure out. However, I know that I want to find out.

A. is dangerous. But I have been known to live dangerously.