"Worst Christmas ever" - A

The holidays are always difficult for those of us living, what some may call, a "double life". Spouses are home from work, family obligations and parties fill up the calendar and the window of time to spend with one's lover suddenly seems infinitely small. A and I have made numerous Christmas plans that have sadly fallen through due to changing spouses' schedules and extended holidays from work. With the exception of an unexpected and unplanned visit on Christmas Eve, A and I have had very little time to celebrate together. Although spending the holidays with everyone but the person you love can put a serious damper on one's celebratory mood, A and I have managed to steer clear of holiday-induced depression thanks to one shiny beacon of light - two months ago, I bought us tickets to see an artist that we have both discovered together and grew to LOVE in concert in January. I can not begin to express how much A and I  have been looking forward to this event. We would talk about it excitedly every single day. It would mark a major milestone in our relationship since it would be the first time that we do something "real" together. Something other than hiding out in hotel rooms. Although Christmas didn't turn out the way either of us had planned, it didn't matter because we had the concert. 

On Christmas Day, I get a text from A saying: "Worst Christmas ever".

He didn't want to talk about it on the phone or to explain it by text. He said that he'd explain when he saw me in person. I spent three days worrying about him, wondering whether he had chosen that day to end his marriage and imagining scenarios of family tragedies unfolding on Christmas Day. It didn't help that for those three days, A seemed busy and somewhat less available to talk and text leaving me to simply wait patiently for Sunday. Yesterday, we had arranged to spend a few hours together at a hotel near my house. We were both excited and happy to be with one another and clothes were quickly tossed around the room and A's tongue found it's way to my clit. I came hard underneath his tongue and that made him rock hard. He kissed my mouth and pushed himself inside me softly. He held me close to him and looked at me with the saddest look in his eyes. He said he had missed me so much and that this truly was the worst Christmas ever. I played with his hair and asked him what happened. He said that Christmas morning was amazing and that everything pointed to a great day. He said: "And then I opened my gift". 

I was puzzled for a minute thinking who cares if his wife gave him a bad gift. He looked at me, sadness on his face and said: "It's the single worst thing she could have given me". 

I covered my face and couldn't help my reaction. I started to cry. 

Of course. Concert tickets. It's a great gift. The same gift I bought for him. 

Christmas plans made and unmade

Olivia:

"When do we celebrate Christmas? We skip it this year?"

A:

"Why would we do such a thing".

Olivia:

"It's looking like that... Nothing is working out for us".

A:

"The great thing with us is we enjoy every day together.

We celebrate life. So even if we can't fit it in now, we always make it up. In spades". 

Olivia:

"That is so beautiful. I love that. I must write that down somewhere".

Reunion

A and I had been apart for over two weeks as I had been out of town with my family. While I was away, we kept in touch every day with emails and texts but we also began, what is surely to be a new tradition for us, sending each other pictures every day. What started out innocently enough; a picture of my son and I at the Newark airport on a lay over and a picture of A driving to a meeting, quickly turned sexual. Why that surprised me, I still don't know but by the third day, there were pictures of A, half dressed, grabbing his hard cock for me and of my tanned naked body lying on the king size hotel bed. We had fifteen days of pictures to send to one another so we had to get creative with it. It made our time apart bearable and served to build up the anticipation for my return. 

I made it home in the afternoon and A and I couldn't wait to see each other so on my way to do some errands, he met up with me in the parking lot of a hotel we often go to nearby. He got there before me and when I parked my car next to his, he looked at me through his window and beamed. He was smiling ear to ear as I got into the passenger seat of his sports car and handed him the small gift that I brought back for him. He grabbed me and pulled me close in a tight hug while crushing my mouth with his. Hungrily, he kissed my lips and his tongue found its way in my mouth. I grabbed his hair and moaned as I kissed him back, wishing that the layers of clothes and winter jackets would disappear so that I could feel his warmth. We were giddy to be together after what seemed like a never ending vacation as we talked like excited children. The x- rated picture experiment had made us both terribly aroused for weeks and as A slipped his hand inside my panties, I asked him coyly if he was hard. He looked at me and answered: "What do you think?".

I gasped as he pushed a finger inside me. I was already dripping wet and as A fingered my pussy he asked me how I was going to explain my drenched panties when I got home. I moaned louder and said that I didn't care. A kissed me passionately and as his lips parted with mine, he looked deep into my eyes and said: "I am so in love with you". I kissed him harder and told him that I loved him more and he said: "Impossible". 

I laughed as I said: "I love how we are whispering sweet nothings to one another as your hand is down my pants". Then, as I said that it should always be this way, he laughed and answered that he was just about to say the very same thing. 

As A continued to pump his finger in and out of my pussy, I told him about how I had been fantasizing about his mouth on my clit making me cum over and over. I told him that I had been thinking of his tongue all day while I was on the plane. His eyes sparkled as he said: "Let me go down on you right now". I pushed him away as there were other cars and a few people walking by but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He pulled down my pants and started licking me so slowly and deliciously, I couldn't help but moan and tell him not to stop. 

We both didn't get any release that day and the anticipation for next time might kill me but it was amazing to see A, to kiss his lips and to feel his body against mine. 

The perfect week part III

After A had left to go home for a few hours, I got dressed and went out to get us some dinner and more wine. He wasn't supposed to be gone longer than an hour or two but time passed and he was running late. As I had dinner, I got progressively more drunk and started thinking that A might not be able to escape and come back. I texted him and when he didn't reply, I drank with more vigor. I changed into my girly boxer shorts and a t-shirt and figured that I would he ready for bed when the wine bottle was empty. As I watched some mindless reality show about girls and their wedding dresses, A knocked on the door. I leaped out of bed and rushed to open up. He smiled a broad smile that seemed to say that he was both happy to see me and satisfied with himself that he had surprised me. He held me tight and pulled me off the floor while deeply kissing my lips. We didn't waste any time and as he undressed, standing by the bed, I threw my clothes on the floor and laid naked on the bed. A walked over to the corner of the room where my brown leather boots were lying and he slowly put them on me. He said: "This is really doing it for me" as he entered me with his already hard cock. He stood by the edge of the bed, holding my legs against his chest and fucking me hard. After a few minutes, he grabbed by hand and pulled me off the bed and to the full length mirror hanging near the entrance of my hotel room. He pushed me against the mirror as he forced his cock inside my dripping pussy from behind. I loved watching him fuck me in the mirror. He was watching me too, lust in his eyes and moaning loud. I grabbed the sides of the mirror for balance as I pushed back against A's cock slamming into his body and screaming in pleasure. I lost all shyness and inhibition as the wine took over my tipsy mind and I said: "I want you to take my ass". I had bought a butt plug that morning, not knowing whether we really were going to have the courage to use it. I got the plug as A got the lube. A was rock hard as I laid face down on the bed and spread my cheeks for him to see. I grabbed the lubed up plug from his hand and started playing with my ass. I could feel the toy stretching me as A watched and played with himself. He moaned and said: "I am so fucking excited baby. You excite me so much". I removed the plug as A slowly started entering my ass. We had had anal sex only once before, over a year ago and we both fantasized about doing it again. And again. As A got more and more excited, I began to relax and he was able to place the entire length of his cock in my ass. I told him to fuck me and he gladly did so. He was beyond excited as he pumped fast in and out of my ass. A is 42 years old and we had had so much sex that week that I knew it would take him longer to cum than my ass was able to bear. After a while, he went to shower as he said that he wanted all of my holes. We took a break as we sipped wine, cuddled and listened to Sam Smith. As he stroked my hair, I asked: "Do you know what I like about you? Well, one of the many things that I like about you...."? He smiled and shook his head no. I answered: "I love that you can fuck me so hard and do the kinkiest and dirtiest things with me one minute and the next, you can make such sweet love to me that I feel like I could cry". He looked down, in this shy way that he has sometimes and whispered: "I am so crazy about you. I've never been this crazy about anyone before. You are one of a kind and I'll tell you one thing. I only want to be with you. I don't want to be with anyone else".

It was getting late and he had to leave. He got dressed as I pouted, naked in bed wishing that the night didn't have to end. He kissed me as I made a sad face and pulled out his cock. He forcefully took me and fucked me hard until he came inside me. At that point, he was very late. He kissed me deeply and rushed out the door. He called me from the road and although I knew that I was being unreasonable, I was a little moody and sad. I wanted him to stay. As A always does when this gets too much for me to bear, he put things back into perspective for me and said this before hanging up:

"Baby, I can't give you what you need right now. It's not even what you need, it's what you think you need. And if I give it to you, you'll be like oh my god why did you give me this".

I knew he was right. But his being right didn't help the fact that I had just fallen from the highest high. There was nothing to do but sleep it off.

Sunday withdrawal

A:

"Je suis tellement mais tellement en amour".

Olivia:

"My heart just skipped a beat reading that so I guess I feel the same way :p".

The perfect week part II

I had a whole week to myself and A arranged to spend time with me every single day. On the friday, I had a getaway planned - one night at a hotel - all by "myself". Of course, I wasn't really by myself as A arrived shortly after I did. The evening was a year in the making and expectations were high. A had saved a fancy and very expensive bottle of wine for us to share together. We were initially supposed to have the wine and a crazy sex-filled evening last December when my husband was out of town for two weeks. We had planned to celebrate Christmas with expensive wine and, we joked, hookers and cocaine. One week before our date, I found out that I was pregnant and all of our plans were altered by the news. During my pregnancy, we would often dream of the day when, no longer pregnant, we would escape together for a night at a hotel where we would open that bottle of wine and have the kind of wild sex that we couldn't have anymore.

I wrapped my arms around A's neck and got onto my tip toes to kiss him deeply. He pulled my body to his and held me tightly, whispering: "I can't believe we're doing this. Thanks for inviting me". He smiled his biggest smile as I rolled my eyes. Who else was I going to invite? We opened his bottle of wine and started sipping it as we sat on the couch, my legs over his and my arm around his neck. I commented on the fact that this was reminiscent of the first time we met. It was the fifteenth of May last year and we sat, much like we were doing now, although silently debating whether we should take this to the bed for the very first time. The wine was delicious and worth the year-long wait. A took the glass from my hand and pulled me to the bed. He undressed and then slowly but decidedly removed every last item of clothing from my body. He knelt between my legs and slowly started kissing my lower belly. His tongue moved deliciously over my inner thighs before reaching my clit which he then took into his mouth and sucked. I moaned in delight as I pulled on A's hair. A brought me to a body shaking orgasm and before I had enough time to recover, he forcefully entered my dripping wet pussy. He held on to my breasts as he pumped his cock in and out of me, hard. I screamed in pleasure as he pulled my ass to the edge of the bed and stood in front of me fucking me furiously. I knew that he had to meet up with his wife for an hour or two before coming back to me and that he was already late but in that moment, A didn't care. He wanted to fuck me and cum inside me. As A's moans got louder, he said: "baby I am going to shoot so hard inside you". He screamed as his orgasm took over his body and he collapsed on top of me, his hot mouth kissing mine. I pushed him off me softly, smiled my most mischievous smile and said: "Go. Go home to your wife".

The perfect week part 1

As A pumps his cock inside me...

Olivia:

"Are you going to shower before going home to your wife"?

A:

"No".

Olivia: 

"I think I am going to cum right now".

East coast - West coast drama and a sex date

A had spent the week away. His wife had a business trip planned and he tagged along since it was in a city that he had enjoyed immensely once. Selfishly, the fact that he chose to go with her irked me a little and sadly, we spent the week oscillating from missing each other like crazy to being annoyed and arguing. It was not a good week but thankfully, everything fell into place again as he boarded the plane to come home. He landed on a Saturday, in the midst of the holiday weekend and the thought of not seeing each other for another two, three days was unbearable. I suggested that we both make arrangements to get away for a few hours Sunday afternoon. He scheduled a work meeting while I planned a yoga class and just like that, we both had a three hour window on a a sunny weekend day. A found this hotel just a few minutes from my yoga studio and I rented a room. A and I have our usual spots around the city where we often get away to. This was not one of them. This place was obviously meant to be used exactly for the purposes A and I were using it for. The front desk didn't ask me for my name. They didn't need the credit card I handed for the security deposit and they didn't  seem surprised when I paid cash. This was both a little embarrassing and highly convenient.

I sent A a text with the room number and he arrived five minutes later. He looked so good with his freshly cut hair and tight v neck sweater. He threw his leather jacket on the chair and wrapped his strong arms around me. He pushed my back against the wall and placed his lips on mine. He kissed me deeply and it felt so good to breathe him and feel his body against mine. He said: "I missed you so much baby" as he held me close and pulled on the zipper of my hoodie. I pulled his sweater over his head and traced my fingers along the muscles of his chest. A is very handsome. Especially during sex. I love to watch the muscles of his chest flex as he fucks me or witness the strength of his arms as he grabs my hips and thrusts his hard cock into me. I love watching his body move as he manhandles me, pulling and pushing me into whatever position he craves at that particular moment. After more than a year and a half of sex with A, I still notice how hot he looks as he gets dressed, how sexy he is when he fucks me and how beautiful his face is when he looks at me.
Ok where was I?
We undressed quickly and moved to the bed where A proceeded to give me the first orgasm of the six we would have together that day. No one makes me moan and cum the way that A does. He has learned the way that my body works and I have to say that he is a really gifted student. He seems to know exactly where and how to lick and touch in order to produce the most intense, mind blowing orgasms that I have ever had. I can't even give myself an orgasm comparable to the ones that A gives me.

It felt so good to be in A's arms after the time we had spent apart.
We both left the dingy motel happy and giddy.
Reality hit when I got home as my husband was annoyed and cranky which seems to be the theme in our house these days. The mood serves as a daily reminder that what I am doing is unsustainable. Things at home are mostly....unpleasant. And I have been emotionally unavailable which only reinforces the unpleasantness. I know that I have to make a choice. I can't keep giving A the best of me for there is nothing left of me to give to my husband. I am not going to pretend that I don't know what the right thing to do is. I know I should distance myself from A in order to heal my marriage. But his pull is too strong and I am so deeply in love with him that pulling back seems impossible. I am continuing on as though this is just another affair. Another lover.
Except it isn't.
A is A.
He is everything.
I am so screwed.

Arguing with A

A:

He takes you for GRANTED.
Sleep on that.

"I can't un-feel what I feel"

Olivia:

"This is really hard A. Sometimes I am so unhappy at home".

A:

"I know... Do I make things harder for you?".

Olivia:

"I don't know".

A:

"Do you want to leave because you want to be with me or do you want to leave because you need to leave"?

Olivia:

"I want to leave because I want to be with you".

A: 

"If I wasn't in your life, you would spend your life with him"?

Olivia:

"Yes".

A:

"I'm so sorry".

Olivia:

"Being with you makes it so unbearable for me at home sometimes. Before you, I was happy enough. And now, I can't un-know what I know... I can't un-feel what I have felt. Being with you makes it impossible for me to be happy with him. This whole life that I have.... It no longer feels like enough".

A:

"You've been holding that in for a long time".

Olivia:

"Yes".

A:

"I'm so sorry... We'll get through it together. I'll be whatever you need me to be, I'll do whatever you want me to do".

Sushi and love once again - part II

The sushi that A had selected was delicious and we were smiling and talking happily as we ate and drank. Music played in the background and when the food was over, A pulled me to him, one arm around my waist, his hand in mine and we slow danced in the middle of the kitchen. My body against his, we looked at one another, happy, tipsy and elated to be together in that particular moment. That's the magic of being with A, he allows me to be present in the moment, where everything else fades away and I am exactly where I want to be. These perfect little moments of utter happiness and the consciousness associated with being really present in them, that in itself, is a gift. But I am getting sidetracked here. The slow dancing quickly turned sensual as most things tend to be with A and I. Clothes were shed, leaving a trail from the kitchen to the dining room and finally, to the bedroom,. A's lips were quickly tracing kisses on my lower belly making me wet with desire. When he found my clit and began circling it with his tongue, I was moaning without inhibition. I didn't want to cum yet and I was craving A. I crave giving him pleasure and making him cum in a way that I have never experienced before with any other man. It may be why sex with A is so completely mind blowing and hot. We are both the most turned on while giving the other pleasure. We are both unselfish lovers and for me, taking A's throbbing cock in my mouth and driving him wild with pleasure is the most satisfying and arousing act of all. I pushed A off of me and knelt on the floor in front of him. He moaned as I licked the tip of his hard cock, circling it with my tongue. I looked into A's eyes as I moved my tongue from the base of his cock to the tip without taking him in my mouth. As I went back down again, I ran my lips and tongue over his balls sending shivers down A's back. I know exactly what he likes and that night, I wanted to give it to him. A grabbed a fistful of my hair as he guided his cock in my mouth slowly. As I moved up and down his shaft, I left his cock dripping wet. He screamed with pleasure as I attempted to put all of his hardness down my throat. Feeling the tip of his cock down the back of my throat drove him wild and he began thrusting his cock in and out of my hungry mouth. Feeling him close, I stopped as I wasn't ready for him to orgasm yet. As A laid down on my bed, I got on top of him and emboldened by the wine, I began riding his cock. I moved slowly at first, letting him enjoy the feel of my dripping wet pussy on his cock and balls. As he moaned and threw his head back, I started moving faster, my hips descending hard on his cock making him moan louder and louder. He repeated over and over how good I felt and how I was driving him wild which only served to make me ride him harder. Before he could cum, I moved off of him and took as much of his cock in my mouth as I could. I sucked and licked as he went wild with arousal. Again, not letting him cum, I rode him again and then sucked him and fucked him once more. We were both out of breath as A pulled me off of him. I stood, my hands resting on the bed as A got behind me and began pumping in and out of me from behind. We both screamed and moaned as he fucked me hard, pulling my hair. After such a build up, A exploded and yelled out as he came all over my ass and back.

As we basked in the afterglow, my head nestled between A's shoulder and neck, I said: "I love having sex with you. This is the best sex of my life. You have ruined me for all other men. Forever".
A replied: "I am ruined too baby. No one makes me feel the way that you do. You drive me wild".

And I meant it when I said that I was ruined forever. I can't imagine that something like this can happen twice. That one person can fulfill all of your needs, emotional and sexual. That's the thing about A. Whereas before, I needed multiple men to fulfill different needs, A is simply everything. Just like that Michael Bublé song. He is everything.

And how lucky that he feels the same about me.

Sushi and love once again - part I

My husband was out of town for a few nights, my little one was with my mother and A had the evening free. The last time that I had sushi and wine was with A, last November and just like last time, I picked up the wine and A brought home the sushi. He walked in and placed the boxes on the kitchen counter. He seemed giddy as he showed me what he chose and I pulled him to me for a deep kiss. He abandoned the sushi and wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling me closer as his tongue met mine. My hands in his hair and my breath escaping me, I asked: "Are you hungry? What do you want more, sushi or me"? A beamed as he answered: "You". I kissed him hard as I began undoing the buttons on his shirt. He pulled my sweater over my head and as he traced kisses along the side of my neck down to my shoulder, he undid my bra and let it fall down on the kitchen floor. A wrapped his strong arms around me and sat me on top of the kitchen counter. My legs wrapped around his waist and my hands in his hair, we kissed with the kind of urgency and passion that I have only known with A. He swiftly pulled off my pants, picked me up in his arms and carried me to the bedroom. As he laid me down on the bed, A knelt between my legs and began kissing and licking me driving me wild with desire. As his tongue expertly explored every inch of me, tracing his lips along my legs, kissing my inner thighs and finally, reaching my clit, I moaned with pleasure. As he teased me with his mouth, I begged him to take me. I needed to feel his hardness inside me and his body on top of mine. I had been fantasizing about A fucking me hard and fast all week long. I wanted sex to be sweaty and wild and for A and I to shed all our inhibitions. A and I had spoken numerous times about how we wished to fuck each other's brains out all evening long. As he positioned himself on top of me, he slowly inched his hard cock inside me. I moaned soflty, my mouth on his. He kissed me in a way that no man has ever kissed me before, hard but slow, passionate and sensual, in this way that conveys both his lust and his love. I traced my fingers along his back softly as he moaned quietly against my mouth. He called me his love as he moved inside me firmly but slowly, making love to me in a way that made me melt and forget that I had wanted him to fuck me just a minute before. My heart was beating fast and I was utterly consumed by A. Our bodies moved and seemed to melt together as our moans grew louder. His hands in my hair and my finger tracing his lower lip, I whispered "Please don't stop". The intensity between us grew as the pleasure built. He called me his love once more as he exploded inside me.

As we laid together, our naked bodies sweaty and intertwined, I told A that I had never made love with anyone the way that he and I make love. He traced the curves of my face with his finger, looked at me intently and said: "I want forever with you". 

"We've gone through so much"

Three weeks had passed since I spent that perfect morning, wrapped up in A's arms, consumed by his love. He had come over early in the morning and we spent a few hours in bed together. The wild and sweaty sex we had been used to last summer was replaced by passionate sweeter sex over the last few months and although things were definitely different, our desire and lust for one another burned just as intensely as it did before. As A held me close to him and stroked my hair, he whispered how perfect these moments together were and how I was everything that he had ever wanted. He reiterated once again how he would wait for me and be there for me no matter what I needed or wanted in the future.

We kissed goodbye without knowing that just a few hours later, my baby would be born, a little early and definitely unexpectedly.

In the frenzy that followed my perfect morning with A, I still managed to let him know that I was on my way to the hospital. In the hours and days that followed, A showed me unwavering support and unconditional love. He wrote to me every day. His words of encouragement and the love that transpired in them made me smile and warmed my heart as I read them from my hospital bed, in the wee hours of the morning.

Now, three weeks later, we found ourselves wrapped in a perfect embrace once again. Although much had changed, nothing felt different between us. As A kissed me deeply and held me tightly against his strong chest, I felt incredibly lucky to know this kind of unconditional love. As I looked into his eyes and stroked his hair, I said: "I've never felt this way for anyone before. I don't think that I ever will again. This doesn't happen twice".
He held me tighter as I said: "We've been through so much....". To which he responded: "And we can make it through anything". 

As everything is about to change..

Olivia:

"What we have, it's a lot. But it's not enough".

A:

"I know what you mean. I want everything with you. Do you want everything with me"?

Olivia:

"Yes. I want evenings and nights, weekends and holidays. A life and not one made of stolen moments".

A:

"I am so in love with you".

One year later and everything had changed

I have started writing this post numerous times and I keep saving it in my drafts without ever finishing it. Some entries seem to write themselves and others, well, not so much. 

A and I have been "together" for over a year making it my longest affair. For the first time in both of our lifetimes, we are exclusive lovers. There are no others. We are completely open and honest about everything, about our needs, our desires, our hopes for the future and even about our sex lives with our respective spouses. This honesty is sometimes brutal and painful but it is how we have managed to remain sane through my pregnancy. It has allowed us to really evaluate what we are, what we mean to one another, what we want out of our relationship and where we are willing to take that relationship. Truth be told, I have grown so close to A during my pregnancy that it sometimes feels as though we are going through it together. I suppose we are despite him not being the father of my child. He has shown me nothing but unconditional love and unwavering support.

I could easily spend my entire life with my husband and be reasonably happy. My husband is a great man, loyal, honest and hard working and there is a lot of love in our relationship. However, what I have discovered and learned through loving A, is that my husband and I are not and were probably never, in love. By being in love, I don't just mean the passion and the lust which is definitely lacking in my marriage but rather, a deep acceptance of the other for who they really are coupled with a overwhelming sense of need for them to be happy, regardless of your own happiness. The selflessness that comes with unconditional love and acceptance of the other is something that I have never felt for my husband and something that he certainly does not feel for me. In fact, I have spent over a decade hiding parts of my personality in order to fit this idea of what my husband thinks that I should be. Our love and marriage are both, conditional. These conditions have prevented me from being myself. That was always something that I was willing to live with. I have started to question that now with A. Can you really have it all with just one person? 

If I were not expecting a child in less than two months, I would find myself at a crossroads. Do I stay on this path that I have chosen with my husband or do I leap and start over with A. 

For now, I am putting my focus on my marriage in an attempt to provide the most loving and stable environment for a child to be born. My relationship with my husband is stronger and more peaceful than it was before the pregnancy. We are both entering this new phase of our lives with calm and happiness. We help each other, support each other and are generally a great team. 

A is probably the great love of my life. We will probably find a way to be together one day. But that will have to wait because I am about to meet a little boy who might just eclipse all the other men in my life :)

I feel so at home with you

A:

I feel so at home with you.

I've never felt this way with anyone else.

With you there are no issues to work on, no awkwardness, nothing that makes me think twice.

You are so wonderful and you keep surprising me in a million little ways.

It feels so good to receive your love. 

Not just because it is good to be loved.

But because it is coming from YOU.

Because I am so madly in love with you. 

And to get that love back.... Is the best thing in the world.

Olivia:

To be loved by the one person whom you love so much...

Maybe that's what makes us so amazing together. 

"Every woman should be made love to the way that you just made love to me"

A's hands were all over my body as he pumped his cock hard into me from behind. He moaned loudly and said "baby, you feel so fucking good" as his left hand slammed down fast on my ass, sure to leave a small mark. I moved my body lower on the bed, resting my head down and lifting my ass, giving him better access. He grabbed my hair as he continued to fuck me, harder and harder.

He grunted and moaned as he pulled out of me and turned me over on my back. He pulled my legs up on his chest and in one quick thrust, he filled me again. Both his hands playing with my breasts, he thrusts his cock in and out of me so deeply that I couldn't help but moan and scream out. Then, he let go of my legs which I wrapped around his body pulling him closer on top of me. The back of his hand grazing my cheek, he placed his warm mouth on mine. His kiss was slow, his lips embracing mine and his tongue gently toying with my own. His slow kisses gradually became more passionate as his mouth enveloped mine in the most delicious way. He embraced me, his arm around me pulling me into him. My hands in his hair, I kissed him harder as he continued to move in and out of me slowly but firmly. He unlocked his lips from mine and with one hand cupping my face, he said: "I love you so much Olivia, so fucking much". I held his face in my hands, kissing him and whispering "I love you more" against his hot mouth. He made love to me, moving slowly but deliciously inside me as he held me so close. His hands sometimes in my hair, sometimes bringing my face to his, he never stopped kissing me. His intensity was moving and addictive. He wrapped me up in him... Caught up in that moment, nothing existed outside of him, myself and our love. 

As we laid, wrapped up in eachother's arms afterwards, A stroked every curve of my face with his fingers as I told him that every woman should be made love to the way he had just made love to me. 

Weekend withdrawal

Hey baby, 

I should be getting ready for dinner but I miss you so much. 

I kinda feel like lying on the couch under a warm blanket, watching sappy romantic movies and eating ice cream ;)

That's what happens when you are far away from me... Your absence encourages this kind of love-sick withdrawal behavior. 

In everything I do, in all my thoughts and everything I feel.....there's you. 

You might be my favorite person of all time ;)

I saw this quote somewhere and felt like this was exactly what you have done to me. 

"You’ve slipped under my skin, invaded my blood and seized my heart".

Valentine's Day

I have never really celebrated Valentine's Day. Other than the occasional dinner out and the ''Happy Valentine's Day baby'' upon waking, it's never been a particularly big or important thing in my life. No Valentine's Day really stands out in my mind....until now. 

A and I had arranged to celebrate with our spouses on the 15th which left the 14th wide open for us to spend time together. We were both giddy and excited all week as we prepared and thought of little gestures for each other. I knew that the day would be special but I had no idea how much thought A would put into making it a day that showed me how much he cared. A picked me up from home a little later than we had planned. When I got in the car, he apologized for being late but said that he had already checked into the hotel room at our usual meeting place. I smiled at him and he was beaming as he drove a little too fast, excited to get there. He opened the door to our room and on the desk sat a dozen white roses. They were beautiful and although he knew that I wouldn't be able to take them home with me, he said he couldn't help himself. The intoxicating sweet smell of roses was subtle throughout the room as he had spread rose petals on the bed, on the floor and on the desk. He had brought a small bottle of champagne knowing that I wouldn't drink more than a few sips and it sat on the desk next to the roses. It was the most romantic scene I had ever been a part of. What made it really special was that A had stuck pink heart shaped post its all around the room. There were some on the walls, stuck to lamps, the bedpost and around the mirror in the bathroom. As I walked through the room, I realized that each one of them had a little note written on it. There must have been fifty heart shaped love notes spread out about the room. Some were heartfelt, some funny and some sexy. As I got closer to the desk to read the ones stuck to the mirror, I noticed a card placed on the side, with my name on it. A came up behind me and said that not only was that card for me, but the one on the bedside table was mine too, and the one on the bed as well as the one in the frame by the bed. He had written me four Valentine's Day cards since he couldn't pick the one that he liked the most. 

As he opened the champagne bottle, I sat on the bed, happy and giddy and started opening the first card. I asked him to come sit by me and open his gift and his card. We read our love notes cuddling and smiling like excited children never letting go of each other. We spent the whole day wrapped around one another, making love and enjoying the sickening romance of the day :)

As I gathered my things to leave, I took down every single sticky note from the walls and kept them with me. They are sitting by me now as I write this post. 

My favorite one says: You have totally changed me and I will be forever grateful. 

Happy Valentine's Day.