Sushi and love

My husband being away at the annual office Christmas party gave me plenty of time to play. A scheduled a "dinner meeting" and just like that, we were free to spend an evening together. I picked up the wine and A picked up the sushi. We were both giddy and excited at the thought of having dinner together. Dinner is a meal that we have never had together. We have had breakfast, lunch and snacks but dinner was always elusive and out of reach. As we sat next to each other at the kitchen island, eating, drinking and kissing, A mentionned that I hadn't stopped smiling since he got there. I was so happy simply sitting next to him, our chairs angled towards one another and feeding each other sushi. A commented that it all felt like a real date. And it really did. For starters, we were doing things in order; having dinner and then having sex. As he kissed me, A whispered in my ear: "If I don't woo you during this dinner, I may not get any". I laughed as I kissed him harder. A often tells me, as I am sitting across from him during lunch, that I am a vision. Because we spend so much time in bed, tangled up in each other having sex, we rarely take the time to look at each other the way one does during a date. During dinner, I couldn't stop looking at A. He looked so good with his gray pants, white dress shirt and snug black sweater. I was incredibly attracted to him as I tried to commit the image of him, at that moment, to memory. By the time dinner was finished, I was a little tipsy from the wine and A put his hands under my sweater, pulled me to him and said: "I want you". I kissed him and pressed my body against his. He felt warm and hard against me as we kissed as though we had never kissed before. I pulled my sweater over my head and let it fall on the kitchen floor. A moaned as he took off my bra and threw it in the dining room. He pulled me towards the bedroom as he unzipped my jeans. In no time, I stood completely naked as he remained fully dressed. A pushed me on the bed as he knelt in front of me and started kissing and licking my clit making me even wetter that I already was. I put my hands in his hair as I pulled him into me harder. I was dying to feel him inside me. I pushed him off me and asked him to take me, hard. A undid his belt and pants and in one quick motion, he pushed his hard, throbbing cock inside me. I gasped as I looked at him, still fully dressed, fucking me. He moaned as he fucked me harder and harder. I cried out with every stroke as I felt like I was losing my mind. The sensations were so intense and the feeling of being with A in such an intimate and connected way always heightens everything that I feel. I told him not to stop even as hot tears started burning my eyes. A kissed them away as he contined to fuck me until he exploded inside me.

The ground outside is covered in snow and my summer romance has turned into something.....something I have trouble describing. I know that I am in too deep, I know that this is unsustainable and I know that people will get hurt, probably A and I. Regardless, I feel this need to explore this relationship further. I want to know how things will unfold. Since the fall, I have been telling myself that I need to be with A for one more day. One more day has brought us here, so many days later.

Jealousy, really?

A:
So your husband is going on a business trip with his secret lover ;)
Are you jealous?

Olivia:
I don't know.

A:
Baby, it's ok, it's normal.

Olivia:
I know I shouldn't be. I am by far the worst person in this relationship.

A:
Stop being so judgemental about yourself.

Olivia:
See, it would be different if we could have an honest conversation about what we both need.
It's unrealistic to think that in a lifetime, two people will be only faithful to each other...

A:
I agree.

Olivia:
Anyway, it's fine.

A:
You're anything but fine right now.

Olivia:
Makes me want to ask you to fuck me really hard.

A:
Is that why you asked me to tonight?

Olivia:
No. You know, if he cheats on me, I have carte blanche to leave him. What would you do?

A:
Baby, I would leave.
I would get my own place.
And you'd have your own place.
And we would NOT move in together.
Not at first.
We'd start dating.
Like platonic dating.
We'd start ALL over.
In the right context.

Going bonkers

Olivia:

I am obsessed with you my love. 

A:

Baby I've never felt so good about an obsession.

You give me everything I need.

Olivia:

Everything?

A:

Everything baby. 

I feel like nothing is missing.....and then you give me more.

I can't even explain it.

Olivia:

Have you never had that before?

A:

No , I've never felt so completely fulfilled by another person.

By just ONE person.

Olivia:

Do you think we could be happy. With just us. And our babies ;) very hypothetical question. I know you love those ;)

A:

Yes I do :)

Crazy huh?

Olivia:

Bonkers.

A:

Lol!

Olivia:

And, craziest thing of all. Rather than being true to myself selfishly like I have always done... I feel like I want/need to be true to you, to us :) 

A:

Actually not that crazy, I know what you mean cause I feel it too. It's like being true to ME and being true to YOU have somehow become intertwined. :))

Olivia:

I hear that's what love is. Although I wouldn't know. Never happened to me before ;)

A:

OMG really? ;)

<3

Morning sex

I kissed my husband good bye and my heart skipped a beat as the door closed and I picked up my phone to call A. He was already close by, picking up croissants and muffins for our very early morning date. I breathed him in when he kissed me and whispered good morning. My body was tingling and I could feel myself getting aroused with every kiss. He led me to the bedroom and pushed my back against the wall as he pressed his hard body into mine. Breakfast could wait. His tongue played with mine and his hands explored every curve of my body. He lifted my shirt and took my nipple into his mouth, softly biting it and making me moan. I closed my eyes and played softly with his hair as his hands stroked the inside of my thighs. I was dripping wet when he kneeled in front of me and kissed my clit. I moaned louder and started moving slowly against his tongue. My hands in his hair, I pulled him into me harder. When I felt my legs go weak, A walked me to the bed. He traced kisses all along my stomach until he reached my clit again. He circled it with his tongue as he put his index finger inside me. I felt myself get even wetter as he fingered me. When I felt him push another finger in my ass, I cried out in pleasure. My mind went completely blank and I was lost in the sensations as his tongue and fingers brought me closer and closer to the mind-blowing orgasm that only A gives me. With one finger pumping in and out of my wet pussy, A moved his tongue lower and began flicking it over my ass. I moved my fingers to my clit and started playing with myself for him to see. He moaned loudly as he pushed his tongue in and out of me. The feeling, combined with how naughty having my lover's tongue my ass always seems to me, sent me over the edge as my body tensed and I began feeling the delicious ripples of an intense orgasm flow through my entire body. I softly pushed A off me, turned over on my stomach and started to giggle. A climbed on top of me and I could feel his hard cock pushing against my back. He softly brushed my hair away from my neck and started slowly kissing me and biting me while he whispered how intense my orgasms felt to him. I couldn't speak, my body was indeed recovering from an earth shattering orgasm but I wanted more. I grabbed his cock and pressed it between my ass cheeks so that he could feel how wet he made me. He moaned and asked me if I wanted his cock inside me. I begged him to please fuck me as I needed to feel him closer to me. He grabbed his cock and pushed it inside me as I moaned and enjoyed the feeling of his cock slipping so easily in my dripping wet pussy. He moaned and said how tight and wet I felt on his cock as he pumped in and out of me faster. I begged him to take me hard, I was craving him and love-making wasn't enough. He obliged and began pushing into me harder with every stroke. He moaned louder, I screamed out in pleasure as he slapped my ass while fucking me from behind. I grabbed the edges of the bed and began moving my hips to meet his cock at every stroke. When I felt him getting close to orgasm, I pushed a finger in my ass for him to watch as he fucked me. That sent him over the edge as he pulled out of me and started cumming all over my ass and back making a mess of me. As we showered together and got cleaned up, A held me tightly under the hot water and said that there was no better way to start the day. 

Love and the overnight date

A:

I really have fallen completely and hopelessly in love with you Olivia. And it feels SO good I can't even explain it. I feel so much for you. I realize that I believe in you and it's the best feeling I've ever had really. They say people need to believe in something, so they turn to religion, faith, whatever. I feel the best believing in YOU. Putting my faith in YOU. Giving everything in me to YOU. That's what makes me feel good inside. I truly feel like it can't be wrong.  It feels SO right , how could it possibly be wrong? It can't. It's not. It's everything I've been searching for I feel. To feel THIS way , to feel THIS good about something. Whatever the outcome, THIS is the best experience of my life thus far and I will never have any regrets of any kind. 

I have been thinking a lot of that " fantasy weekend" that Xmas extravaganza ;)

I will do EVERYTHING in my power to make it happen. I'm actually already building up to it ( I know that's sneaky of me , but it's for a great cause - the best cause ) I'm being EXTRA good , extra nice, extra sweet. Anyway, I'll find a way somehow I'm quite confident. I want it SO bad it hurts. Can you imagine how amazing it will be? I know, if we get our hopes up it will be so painful to lose it , but I can't help being exited about it. Baby I miss you something awful, something unbearable. I need you back in my arms ASAP. I hope you've had a good evening and that you are enjoying the last days of sunshine on your vacation. 
xxx

Olivia:

I am sitting on my flight, we literally hung up ten minutes ago and I am already aching for you. My body is truly aching for yours. But so is my heart. My heart is aching for yours. I don't mean it in a negative, depressing or painful way. It's just how deep my feelings are for you. I have never ever felt this way for a man before. (Omg wait I need to fasten my seat belt! God forbid we crash and I am not fastened in :p because that belt will definitely help me remain pleasantly seated while I fall to the ground at a death-inducing speed) 

Now where was I? Oh yes. How much I love you ;)

Well I love you lots ;) 

I may write you the longest email ever, it may be my new coping mechanism for flying.... As I did NOT have flaming Sambuca before......mmmm flaming Sambuca ;) now I wish I had followed your advice and had a shot ;) )

So where was I? Oh yes, I was telling you all my secrets... I don't even know why everything is so different with you.... Maybe I felt such honesty from you right from the start. I remember loving the fact that I could ask you anything and that you would always answer and tell me stories of your past without holding back. You always told me things as they were (as far as I know ;) ) the good with the bad. You were so open with me. I always felt like you were so real. So I decided very early on to be real with you in return. I decided to be honest. About who I am. About my feelings. About my orgasms ;) I realized that being so open with you was very liberating. And you know how I feel about life. Life is short! It is so freakin short. And it can take a crazy stupid sad turn at any moment. And so I now feel like you should tell the people that matter to you that they matter. And nothing should hold you back... Fear of rejection, insecurity and vulnerability... It's all part of the experience. So when you started to matter to me, I told you. I didn't want to play games and be emotionally manipulative with you. Because that would get in the way of us experiencing this crazy, intense, amazing, mind blowing, surprising, breathtaking love. At the end of the day, what I really want out of life is to be able to say that I lived it, that I gave it 100%, that I was fearless and took chances, that I made many mistakes but that they made me wiser, that I got hurt but that that is part of the deal...that I was not a cookie cutter person.....that I followed my heart. I am so afraid of letting life pass me by. That may be my biggest fear (even more frightening than airplanes) I don't want to feel like I am sleepwalking through my life. I don't want to wake up, work, watch tv, sleep and repeat. I don't want to spend money in shopping malls on things that are empty. That sucks. It is boring and what will I have to show for it when I am old? I'll be an old boring person with no stories, no secrets and no passion but who worked really hard and bought many things with her hard earned money. You know that that is not the old woman that I want to be, sitting on the front porch. I want to get on planes even if they scare me because I want to see things and go places. I want to be able to take the time out of my life to sit on the balcony and look out at the ocean below, to spend time with my family and watch pelicans dive in the ocean just because. And I want to keep reminding myself always, ALWAYS, that I am so lucky. Lucky that I know that these things matter. This is why I let myself feel what I feel for you. Because you add colour to my life. Because you bring out such passion within me. Because if this plane crashes right this second, I can say that I was truly living my life when I died tragically ;) 

Baby...I am really getting excited about our private Christmas party, I want it, very badly. Although I am not sure that I would ever recover from an overnight date with you....I will still take the chance ;)

The plane is landing soon. I have been writing you the entire time. I have no idea how long this email will be. Feel free not to read the whole thing ;)

xox

Vacationing and texting

A:
Morning beautiful

Olivia:
Hey! I am running on the beach :D

A:
I thought so. You are a STAR.

Olivia:
Watching pelicans dive into the ocean - probably my favorite thing about this place.

A:
Lol! You are adorable. 

Olivia:
I know, silly things make me happy.

A:
I LOVE knowing you are happy.

Olivia:
You love me? ;)

A:
I LOVE you like CRAZY.
Are there a lot of runners out there?

Olivia:
I passed no more than five. Quiet beach, I love it. 

A:
Any hot dude ;) ?
Probably not many under 60.

Olivia:
Wouldn't you like to know ;)

A:
I would indeed :)

Olivia:
You know I like older men ;)

A:
Rumor has it you've only just discovered that this year.

Olivia:
That rumor would be correct ;)

A:
Did any of the runners turn around and start running behind you? ;)
I would do that if I saw you out there.

Olivia:
That's because you are a DOG

A:
Lol! I used to be... Pre Olivia ;)

Olivia:
There is a pre Olivia A and a post Olivia A? 
I LOVE that.
Me too by the way...

A:
Who would have thought? Not me ;)

Olivia:
Don't worry, it's temporary insanity. You'll be prowling again in no time ;)

A:
Ok doc.

Olivia:
I am just making a joke because what I really mean to say is that I hope that this is not temporary and that you always feel the way you are feeling right now. 

A:
Baby, it hurts how much I miss you right now.
I need you.

Olivia:
You have me.

A:
I am so in love with you.

Olivia:
You know when I am old, sitting on that porch I always talk about? You will be my one. My one person who I loved the most...who I never forgot...who had my whole heart.

A:
I've never felt this much love for or from anyone. It's crazy how intensely I feel it. It gives me such strength. 

Olivia:
You know what we have is more than some people have in a whole lifetime. Knowing that helps me cope. Helps me accept things as they are. This love is enough. Do you know what I mean?

A:
Yes. I feel I know exactly what you mean.

Mini vacation and much needed rehab

I am going on a small trip to a beautiful US beach that I have been visiting since I was a kid. I am joining my family who headed down there for a golf trip so I will have lots of free time with no husband and no lover. It will be like rehab. Much needed rehab that is.
See you in a few days! Be good ;)
Don't do anything I wouldn't do (which doesn't leave out much!)