Love and the overnight date

A:

I really have fallen completely and hopelessly in love with you Olivia. And it feels SO good I can't even explain it. I feel so much for you. I realize that I believe in you and it's the best feeling I've ever had really. They say people need to believe in something, so they turn to religion, faith, whatever. I feel the best believing in YOU. Putting my faith in YOU. Giving everything in me to YOU. That's what makes me feel good inside. I truly feel like it can't be wrong.  It feels SO right , how could it possibly be wrong? It can't. It's not. It's everything I've been searching for I feel. To feel THIS way , to feel THIS good about something. Whatever the outcome, THIS is the best experience of my life thus far and I will never have any regrets of any kind. 

I have been thinking a lot of that " fantasy weekend" that Xmas extravaganza ;)

I will do EVERYTHING in my power to make it happen. I'm actually already building up to it ( I know that's sneaky of me , but it's for a great cause - the best cause ) I'm being EXTRA good , extra nice, extra sweet. Anyway, I'll find a way somehow I'm quite confident. I want it SO bad it hurts. Can you imagine how amazing it will be? I know, if we get our hopes up it will be so painful to lose it , but I can't help being exited about it. Baby I miss you something awful, something unbearable. I need you back in my arms ASAP. I hope you've had a good evening and that you are enjoying the last days of sunshine on your vacation. 
xxx

Olivia:

I am sitting on my flight, we literally hung up ten minutes ago and I am already aching for you. My body is truly aching for yours. But so is my heart. My heart is aching for yours. I don't mean it in a negative, depressing or painful way. It's just how deep my feelings are for you. I have never ever felt this way for a man before. (Omg wait I need to fasten my seat belt! God forbid we crash and I am not fastened in :p because that belt will definitely help me remain pleasantly seated while I fall to the ground at a death-inducing speed) 

Now where was I? Oh yes. How much I love you ;)

Well I love you lots ;) 

I may write you the longest email ever, it may be my new coping mechanism for flying.... As I did NOT have flaming Sambuca before......mmmm flaming Sambuca ;) now I wish I had followed your advice and had a shot ;) )

So where was I? Oh yes, I was telling you all my secrets... I don't even know why everything is so different with you.... Maybe I felt such honesty from you right from the start. I remember loving the fact that I could ask you anything and that you would always answer and tell me stories of your past without holding back. You always told me things as they were (as far as I know ;) ) the good with the bad. You were so open with me. I always felt like you were so real. So I decided very early on to be real with you in return. I decided to be honest. About who I am. About my feelings. About my orgasms ;) I realized that being so open with you was very liberating. And you know how I feel about life. Life is short! It is so freakin short. And it can take a crazy stupid sad turn at any moment. And so I now feel like you should tell the people that matter to you that they matter. And nothing should hold you back... Fear of rejection, insecurity and vulnerability... It's all part of the experience. So when you started to matter to me, I told you. I didn't want to play games and be emotionally manipulative with you. Because that would get in the way of us experiencing this crazy, intense, amazing, mind blowing, surprising, breathtaking love. At the end of the day, what I really want out of life is to be able to say that I lived it, that I gave it 100%, that I was fearless and took chances, that I made many mistakes but that they made me wiser, that I got hurt but that that is part of the deal...that I was not a cookie cutter person.....that I followed my heart. I am so afraid of letting life pass me by. That may be my biggest fear (even more frightening than airplanes) I don't want to feel like I am sleepwalking through my life. I don't want to wake up, work, watch tv, sleep and repeat. I don't want to spend money in shopping malls on things that are empty. That sucks. It is boring and what will I have to show for it when I am old? I'll be an old boring person with no stories, no secrets and no passion but who worked really hard and bought many things with her hard earned money. You know that that is not the old woman that I want to be, sitting on the front porch. I want to get on planes even if they scare me because I want to see things and go places. I want to be able to take the time out of my life to sit on the balcony and look out at the ocean below, to spend time with my family and watch pelicans dive in the ocean just because. And I want to keep reminding myself always, ALWAYS, that I am so lucky. Lucky that I know that these things matter. This is why I let myself feel what I feel for you. Because you add colour to my life. Because you bring out such passion within me. Because if this plane crashes right this second, I can say that I was truly living my life when I died tragically ;) 

Baby...I am really getting excited about our private Christmas party, I want it, very badly. Although I am not sure that I would ever recover from an overnight date with you....I will still take the chance ;)

The plane is landing soon. I have been writing you the entire time. I have no idea how long this email will be. Feel free not to read the whole thing ;)

xox