The elusiveness of orgasms

I have always had difficulty letting go during sex. My brain simply won't shut down, I often feel shy about my own pleasure and am overall much more comfortable giving than receiving. Therefore, I am not someone who can reach orgasm easily. I have always been fascinated with women who can reach orgasm, over and over, within the same encounter. I am envious of my favourite sex bloggers when they write about how their orgasms come in waves under their lover's touch, tongue and manhood. I, on the other hand, always tell lovers, at the onset of a potential affair, that I am unable to orgasm with strangers. This is neither a lie or a challenge that I extend to men. I am completely unable to orgasm with someone that I do not know somewhat well. This makes me feel like a puzzle to be played with and figured out. Only my husband can bring me to orgasm every single time we are together. The combination of deep trust, a decade of knowing each other and the accompanying level of comfort I feel with him are probably facilitating factors. 

This does not mean that I don't get satisfaction from my adulterous encounters because I definitely do. I get excited, wet and sometimes extremely aroused but most of the time, these feelings still don't lead to orgasm. J., with whom I had some of the best sexual encounters of my life, has brought me to orgasm only once. Because I met J. early on in my adulterous adventures, I was not as honest with him as I have been with the ones who have followed after him. I admit that I have faked a few orgasms in order to make him feel better about having so many orgasms of his own. 

Part of why I cheat is curiosity. I want to learn to let go with someone other than my husband. The openness and warmth that I found in A. made me feel as though I could explore my sexuality in all honesty with him. Therefore, I promised myself that I would be completely truthful with A. I told him about the elusiveness of my orgasms and he promised to never get discouraged and give up on me. I made him understand that despite my inability to orgasm, he was still bringing me more pleasure than anyone had ever done before. I am spilling many secrets in this post but despite A.'s relentless efforts, despite him using his tongue on my entire body, despite him making me wetter than anyone before and keeping me wet for hours and despite the purchase of a tiny vibrating toy, I still wasn't able to reach orgasm. 

Until this week :)

A. had run his tongue over my entire body before spending his time circling and licking my clit. He expertly combined his tongue and fingers on me effectively making me completely wet. After  what seemed like forever, I asked him to get inside me. Pleasuring me had him rock hard and he slid inside me effortlessly. He moved slowly in and out of me. He grabbed the tiny vibrator and held it softly against my clit while continuing to move inside me. I took it from him and teased myself with it until I felt my orgasm swell up inside me. I moaned louder and my whole body tensed up. I moved my hips to meet his strokes while holding the vibrator firmly against my clit until I finally climaxed. I was so surprised that I started to laugh. A. was both shocked and elated that we had finally broken the barrier to my elusive orgasm. 

We met again today and for the first time ever, I had two orgasms while he had only one. 

This man is officially rocking my world.