A. got back from his family holiday early last week and we were absolutely dying to see one another. The day after he flew back, he escaped from his house for an hour so that he could see me. His wife was still on vacation and so he didn't have the luxury of time on that day but he said that he would rather see me for five minutes than not at all. I got into his car and we just sat together for a little while, telling each other how badly we missed one another during the past two weeks. He said that he missed me way too much and he held me close to him, breathing me in for a long time. He looked sad and relieved at the same time which I didn't understand. I think that he was happy to see me but upset that he cared so much, bothered by the fact that he so badly wanted to see me despite the fact that this encounter was not sexual in nature. He told me that during his holiday, he tried not to call me but failed. In fact, he called me almost every day. In response to his attempt at toning things down, I said that he should warn me so that I can calm down as well. I said that I didn't want to be the only one who was crazy about this affair. He said that he was absolutely crazy about me and that we were definitely in the same proverbial boat. Then, he pulled me in a tight hug and whispered in my ear: ''Please don't get off the boat yet''.
Towards the end of the week, A. got really sick which kept him in bed for a few days. During the worst of it, he texted me things that made me think that the fever must have been extremely high. He told me that he needed me desperately and that he was dying to hear my voice. He said that he wished I were there to take care of him and that despite being deathly sick, he was still hot for me, that that never stops for him when it comes to me.
During the weekend, I had a family outing which involved a lot of champagne and wine. At the end of the night I texted him: ''I can't get you out of my head. It is driving me completely crazy. Is that love? Or just lust... I don't know....''
When it comes to A., I always want more. I want more time with him. I want more emails, texts and phone calls. I want more sex. I think that I am beginning to want him to love me.
This is definitely bad....
Hopefully, I can put an end to this madness soon. Or I may not survive the summer.
For what it's worth, a friend recently told me to relax, take it one day at a time and don't overthink. Yeah, right...that's so not me. Good luck to you! Enjoyed what you written so far.
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